Following the agony of Good Friday and just before the glory of Resurrection Sunday, is Holy Saturday.

It’s a day in the tension, held between what was and what is yet to be. A day shell-shocked by the events on Friday; a day we imagine what the first disciples felt…the fear, the sorrow, the confusion, the disappointment…the grief. Our hearts ache for them…they didn’t know the joy ahead, just past the darkness of the night. They didn’t know that the trauma of Friday’s violence would be swallowed up by death’s defeat on Sunday.

But we do.

We know that Jesus’ bloody death on Friday laid the ground for His triumphant Resurrection on Sunday. We know that though sorrow lasts for the night, joy comes in the morning. We know that the pain of what was is securely anchored to the hope of what will be.

We know what Sunday holds.

And as we live out our days in the tension of our faith…

Few days can inspire as much gratitude in my heart like this day…Calla’s baptism day, February 10.

There is celebration when I consider that Jesus entered my life, praise when I remember the moments that He began to reign in my heart, humility when I count the cost He paid to save me. There is comfort in my forgiveness, confidence in my salvation, anticipation in my hope.

My heart sings when I consider how my Jesus loves me…but oh it roars when I consider how He loves my child. My praise swells to an ovation, my gratitude grows to a frenzied…

I’ve been in this place…this Chapel...on this campus. I’ve sat in this room...in these seats, many times before.

Twice a week for four years I sat here. Chapel services were every Tuesday and Thursday…every single week, 1997-2001. I sang these songs...listened to God’s Words.

The girl who sat here twenty-some years ago laughed easily. She smiled and hugged and sang out loud. She walked in without a care in the world, when life was bright and easy and all was at peace.

But I am not that girl anymore…

VH1 used to run “Storytellers,” episodes that allowed songwriters to share about the circumstances and emotions that led to some of the songs people know and love. I’ve always thought that was fascinating…a look behind the curtain…a key to unlock a deeper understanding of lyrics and melody…a window into the heart that birthed the song.

We’ve already shared a video of Janet and AJ Schubert performing their song, “The Brave Way Home” but we want to share some of the story that led to the song, confident that you’ll be inspired to praise the song’s Giver…

“He is my Savior. He is my King. And I will follow Him forever.”

Every moment is a gift. But this moment…this moment is a treasure…it is a promise. I’m forever grateful to have shared it…this very specific, definitive moment, with my Calla three years ago today. I think back to all the discussions about Jesus and about baptism and faith we had with our sweet girl…

It’s the last day of 2021 and I’m naturally feeling reflective.

This time last year, Crystal and I were still finding our feet beneath us. We were determined to follow Jesus forward, but reeling from wave after wave of grief upon grief. We left 2020 feeling unwanted and crushed, misunderstood and confused, but entered 2021 with a fledgling, hopeful grip on a beautiful, God-given mission to call and equip fellow wayfarers to deeper living, eyes fixed on Jesus and hearts set on Heaven.

Throughout this year we have continued to learn to cling tightly to the truth we have been taught and to hold everything else loosely. We’ve faithfully leaned into the work of discovering the shape and the scope of the ministry God is building with us. We’ve humbly stood with our hands open before God, trusting Him to fill them, determined to do His will, and believing that on the other side of obedience is blessing.

This has been a year of God reminding us that He is far from finished with us....

This season is one of frenzy...bright lights, loud music, fast pace, full days. Christmas parties and Christmas lists, Christmas shopping and Christmas baking and Christmas planning...the countdown to December 25 is exhilarating for some and nerve wracking for others.

And for many, this season carries a particular heaviness.

Loss has a way of weaving sorrow through even the sweetest of moments. I think of my sweet Calla all day long…

What started as a way for people to give memorial gifts after our sweet Calla’s rescue to Heaven, has become a movement of people embracing Calla’s heart to look out for the left out. When we decided to keep Calla’s slime shop open, we didn’t know what would come...we just knew we wanted to honor our girl. So, we followed her slime recipes and kept following her lead.

Our Thanksgiving table has an empty chair again this year.

We feel Calla’s absence...and oh, we miss her. Fiercely. But oh, we love her. Fiercely. We love that she is our daughter. We love what it felt like to hold her hand...hear her pray...watch her play...make her laugh...listen to her sing. We love who God created her to be; the beauty in every corner of her soul and the spunk in every muscle of her little body. We love who she is...the granddaughter, the niece, the cousin, the sister, the daughter that she is. She is forever a part of our family...forever a part of us. We have an empty chair, but it is Calla’s chair.

“Hey Calla, Ms. Jenny said she might have room for a little table at her Harvest Homecoming booth for you to sell some slime...what do you think?”

I remember Calla’s classic response to my question...the way her body bolted up in attention, the way her eyes widened in excitement, the way her smile stretched wide across her face.

“YES!!! Yes yes yes! I saw a YouTube video about how to do that,” she shrieked and started to tell me about the intricacies of how to make bulk amounts of slime, her words coming out a mile a minute. In sweet Calla-style, she was all in without a hesitation.

Grief expresses itself in all different ways in each of us. Ezra’s grief journey is different from Crystal’s, and hers is different from Lilah’s and Lilah’s is different from mine. We all feel our loss differently, we respond to our sorrow differently. We each have varied timelines, triggers and coping patterns, individual ways we face the reality of our circumstances, unique stances that steady us in the storm. And still, we are drawn together by our shared loss, bound together by our common longing and our shared love for Calla, for our King, and for each other.

As we seek to help people connect the dots between the vision that God has laid on our hearts and the practical expressions of what this ministry will look like, we want to share some of the passages that have given life to The Brave Way Home. God’s Word truly is living and active and shaping our lives. It has defined and sharpened a vision for discipleship that goes beyond a program or an event. It has led us deeper...forward...and it has fostered our heart to help others on the Way set before us.

Our lifegroup has been such a beautiful, supportive and necessary part of our spiritual walk with Jesus. Each person in our group is precious to us and has walked closely with us through the good and the bad of life. They love us. They love Calla. They know the weight of grief...they share our burdens and we share theirs. And our lifegroup has been studying the life of Jesus through watching The Chosen and studying in the gospels.

God has been so faithful to speak through His Word as we have dug deep into it, desperate for His leading. Scripture after Scripture has shaped the vision God has given us for The Brave Way Home and we are grateful to share them with you.

We are trusting that what God is stirring in us, He is stirring in others. For months and months, we've been praying fiercely for God to reveal our next steps...desperate, on our knees prayers for glimpses of how He might continue to use us.